Chapter 15
Chapter 15
Most of my day had passed by in a flash.
Between finalising contracts with new investors and carrying our countless inner company meetings with various departments, | was already yawning by noon.
It was probably the first time since the morning that | got a moment to myself and | relished the silence and freedom to just breathe with out worrying that there had been eyes on me at all times.
| pulled up the calender tab on my laptop to see what the rest of my day had looked at and all | had for the entire afternoon had been one meeting with the P.R team. My eyes wandered over to the tinted glass window. It was a bright, sunny day outside. Perfect to take Hayley out for some ice cream and maybe a stroll on the park just down the road from the ice cream store.
| pursed my I*ps wondering just how acceptable it would be for me to reschedule the meeting for early tomorrow morning and spend the afternoon with my daughter. Hayley was easy going but | missed her and ever since the move back here | felt like | had not spent that much time with her as we often did back in Canada.
She never complained or whined but the change in lifestyle, routine, and setting must be challenging for her to adapt to regardless of whether she expresses it or not.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.
With out sparing it a second thought, | called in Luey and informed of the change in plans to which she was more than happy to see to. | logged out of my laptop then pushed back the chair and walked out of the building.
When | had gotten home, Hayley had been colouring in the back yard amongst the gardens flowers along with her nanny. | dismissed Nancy for the day and Hayley was ecstatic to see me home so early.
“You're home to have a snack together?” Her eyes that were the same shade as her father’s looked up at me hopefully and my heart squeezed together.
Hayley did miss me more than she had let on and | felt horrible about leaving her so much recently.
“Better than that.” | grinned at her and her I*ps broke into a wide smile. “You and | are going out for ice cream and then to the park.” | held out my arms so she could be carried but she confidently hopped of the bench and followed me back in to the house to get some shoes on.
It was a good day for her today seeing as her legs were not losing feeling enough for it to render them motionless. It usually was better just after a session of physiotherapy.
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“Ice cream? Can | get a big fat scoop of chocolate ice cream. | love chocolate ice cream. She beamed in excitement as she slid on a pair of fl*p flops that didn’t quite match her floral dress but | didn’t worry about it too much.
“You can have what ever you want, sweetheart.” | ruffled her hair gently then we both left the house.
The ice cream parlour was one | was familiar with from before moving to Canada and it had been one that | frequented often when an ice cream. craving had hit hard.
| found a parking spot then cut the engine. “Do you feel fine to walk by yourself or would you like mama to take out the stroller?” | asked giving her the choice to choose and feel a little more in control of what she wanted.
She thought about it for a second and | caught her move her legs making sure they still cooperated with her.
“| can walk.” She smiled again showing her perfect set of baby teeth.
| unbuckled my seat belt then got out of the car and helped her out. After we had both secured out ice creams, Hayley’s big ol chocolate scoop and my strawberry one, we headed to the park less than a minute away.
| held the ice creams while Hayley helped me carry a light weight blanket that | usually had washed and kept at the back of the car for random, spontaneous days like this. The blanket was set out of the grass and Hayley and | enjoyed our ice cream together.
“Do you like it here compared to home?” | asked her carefully but also in a calm, open tone that made her feel safe enough to speak her mind.
“| like it here, mama. It’s different but | love our house. It’s so big and the garden is my favourite place. Nanny Nancy lets me have breakfast there every morning.” Hearing her say it so genuinely relieved me of a lot of guilt that | had felt.
The last thing | would want was for her to feel uncomfortable or out of place.
“My grampa left it for me. For us.” | looked at her as we moved out empty ice cream bowls to the side.
“Like a Christmas gift?” She asked innocently.
| nodded. “Some thing like that.”
We spent more time there under the setting sun and it’s warmth playing silly games and joking around before we both just lay on the blanket looking up at the orange sky.
Hayley yawned and | did so, too. “I think we better get going.” | sat up and Hayley was already on her feet.
“Can we have dinner out in the garden together?” She asked and | couldn't say no to those eyes.
“Of course, we can.” | already knew what | would make for dinner tonight and it had been a favourite of hers.
Hayley was quiet for most of the ride home to the point that | thought that she had fallen asleep but when the car came to a halt outside the house and she moved in her seat, | knew that she was awake.
“We’re home.” | announced in a sing song voice and she craned her n*eck to see her surroundings before she let out a big, audible yawn.
“I'm sleepy. Can you carry me to my bed?” She batted her lashes at me and her lower I*p stuck out in a little pout.
“I'll carry you in, sweetheart, but not to the bed. | think a shower will be nice after being out doors then you can go to sleep. | bargained and saw her sleepy eyes droop but she agreed none the less.
| got out of the car and carried her straight to the bathroom where | adjusted the shower temperature for her and she got in. It was probably the quickest showers she has ever taken. Soap was lathered over her skin then rinsed off before she washed her face and asked for her towel.
| didn’t usually watch her when she showered because she was capable for her age but today had been a long day and | made sure to be around her just in case her legs grew tired and gave up.
| wrapped her in her towel then noticed for a moment just how big she had grown. Hayley was no longer the little baby that clinged to me and fed through me but she was now a fully capable child. She had more than two front baby teeth and, as | lifted her up because of the sinking nostalgia that crept up in to my heart, she was no longer easily nestled in my arms.
“You'll always be my baby, Hayley. No matter how big you grow, I'll always love you.” | places k*ssed against her da mn hair and the soft skin of her cheeks.
“| love you too, mama.” She cradled her head in to the crook of my elbow as | carried her towel wrapped b*dy to her room. “Have you fallen asleep already?” | asked just as | entered her room.
She rubbed her eyes then shook her head. “Nope.”
| helped her put on her pajamas and tucked her in to bed but she stared up at me a little more bright eyed than before. Have | just been tricked by my four
year old?
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inned then eyed her carefully. “Hayley Miller, did; mother?” She grinned but then shook her head profusely.
just play a trick on your
“| didn’t. | didn’t. | was tired to walk but after the shower I’m a little fresh. But even as she said that another yawn ripped through her and | stifled a grin.
“Good.” | reached for one of the books she had on her night stand that we haven't read
but we bought it for this week’s reading.
yel
“Once upon a time there was a little girl named Sally. Sally lived on the forests edge in a cosy cottage with her mother and fath-” | stopped mid way not wanting to say the word.
| avoided books with the ‘F’ word just to keep a difficult conversation away. As far as Hayley knew, her father passed on before she was born and she seemed to make her peace with that. You can’t particular moarn over someone you have never known. “Why did you stop, mama?” She asked innocently. “Did Sally stay with her mother and father?” She completed the sentence that | hesitated to say with our any signs of sadness
or strain.
| nodded slowly watching her face carefully to gage her feelings to the topic.
“Yes, she did.” | said with a weak smile.
“Father.” She said the word slowly. “It’s a weird word to me.” She scrunched up her nose.
“Why do you say so?” | closed the book in my hand and looked at her again awaiting to hear her view on this subject.
“Because | don’t have one and | don’t get to use the word.” She explained as much as she understood it.
“Do you think you would have liked a dad?” | asked thinking that since the topic was up, we may as well knock out the creases. Hayley tilted her head against the pillow, her hair moving to the side. “I don’t know. Some times | think about it like when we watch movies then | wonder what it’s like.” She wiggled her pursed I*ps to the side. “But | think | would do great with a dad. We'd be best friends and he would give me piggy back rides and throw me up in the air and and teach me to ride a bike.” She yawned again, rubbing her puffy eyes.
“| could teach you how to ride a bike.” | offered immediately wanting to fulfil her ever need even ones as innocent as the ones she mentioned.
She smiled crookedly as her eyes fluttered closed. “I know you can, Mama, but maybe tomorrow. I’m sleepy now.” She rolled over to her side and tucked my hands under he r cheek.
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| placed a k’ss in her forehead. “I love you so much.” | whispered but she was already half asleep.
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