Pregnant For My Bully

Amelia Forbes

It had been nearly two hours since I met Ashley at Sally’s. And although the yogurt had been terrible and what I needed was to sleep it away, I didn’t go home.

Nana had volunteer work on Saturdays so she wasn’t home. And no way was I going home right now to sit there all alone. I would think to a very unhealthy point and probably end up crying and feeling sorry for myself.

So I just walked. I walked round Wayne County. Well, it was a small town so it wasn’t so difficult.

From Sally’s I walked past Matty’s, carefully of course, to avoid being seen.

As I looked through the glass windows at Matty’s, I could see people, guys and girls in groups, talking, laughing, having fun.

That was me once, I thought.

Feeling the sadness coming, I walked past as quickly as I could to shake it off. It wasn’t the time for it.

After a tour round Wayne County, the only place I hadn’t been to was the park. It’d been years since I’d been to the park.

The last time was with mom and dad. . .

I swallowed back tears. I was determined not to cry today. And I was planning to stick to that.

Finally I got to the park. There was a free bench so I sat, clutching the hotdog buns I had gotten in one hand.

I watched kids playing while their parents watched, couples holding hands and kissing, people getting on rides with their friends.

The whole scene made me feel sad and nostalgic. I always tried not to think about mom and dad so much.

But it was so hard. This scene just made it ten times worse. As I watched parents with their kids, I wished I could take back all the wrong things I ever said to mom and dad.

The first tear that dropped on my hotdog reminded me that I had to go.

I dumped the hotdog in the trash and stood. It was time to go.

As I wiped my eyes with sleeve, I bumped into someone.

I raised my head in alarm and embarrassment, “I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you-”

I paused as I saw that it was actually a couple. Benson and Katie.

Their arms were linked tightly together and they each held a stick of cotton candy. By the flushed look on their faces, I could tell that they’d just ridden the roller coaster.

Some kind of pain tugged in my heart. They were having fun. It was great actually for Benson. For them both, I guess.

Benson’s eyes widened as he saw me, and I could see the guilt and pain in them. As he opened his mouth to say something, I beat him to it.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you guys there,” I mustered a fake smile and walked off. Quickly, so they wouldn’t see that I was crying.

When I got home, I knew Nana was back already because the door wasn’t locked.

I walked to her room to find her, and engulfed her in a hug when I did.

She was a bit startled by the gesture. But she waited till I’d calmed down. After she’d let me sob like a baby for a few minutes she gently raised my head to face her.

Are you okay, baby? She signed.

I could see the worry in her eyes, and I immediately felt bad for being a burden to her.

Fresh tears filled my eyes as I signed, I just really miss them.

She gave me a tight hug and signed, Me too.

I let myself go. Sobbing until I felt better. It was sad realizing that the only person I had right now was Nana.

Amelia Forbes© 2024 Nôv/el/Dram/a.Org.

I didn’t remember falling asleep or getting into my bed last night. Everything was a blur.

I felt like I was having a hangover, although I didn’t drink yesterday.

Sighing, I got up from my bed and jumped into the shower. After going through my morning routine-except getting ready for school, because it was Sunday-the smell of waffles prompted me to go downstairs for breakfast.

As I sat on a chair in the kitchen after signing good morning to Nana, she eyed me, nodded and continued her work.

What? I communicated.

She poured another batch of batter in the waffle maker and wiped the countertop, throwing the utensils in the sink.

Adrian emailed to cancel for today, She signed, watching me carefully.

Right. He’d gotten Nana’s email address the last time he came-in case he needed to reach her, and to check up on her.

I felt a stab of guilt in my chest. I hadn’t even given him an explanation for my behavior the last time. Maybe he’d decided to give me space. Or who knows, he might even hate me now. Like everyone else.

But it was for the best, I decided. Best to avoid clashing with Jason.

Oh, I signed to Nana, trying to look clueless.

She eyed me again, squeezing a large amount of liquid soap on the dishes.

What did you do? She signed.

I gasped in disbelief. Why do you think I did something, I asked.

Nana shook her head. Adrian is a sweet boy, She signed. He wouldn’t just cancel, unless something happened.

I folded my arms across my chest and signed, Well maybe he cancelled because he didn’t feel like coming over anymore.

Nana shot me a glare as she turned off the waffle maker. Shaking her head again, she took out two plates to dish out the waffles. She cut it into four portions, topping it off with three drops of butter and maple syrup. Just the way I liked it.

Passing mine to me, she signed, Adrian is a good boy, the one friend I know you’ve got apart from Ben. Don’t lose him because you’re scared he’ll turn out just like everyone else.

With that, she smiled and patted my head.

Now eat, She signed again, going back to continue her washing and leaving me in a state of deep thought.