WIDOW IN MY BED

“Oh, for God’s Amanda La Wallace!!!” Amanda was stunned when Matt gave a dominant look, full of authority as a husband. Freezing, she was lost for words.

Even though it’s just a loud noise, not in the intonation of yelling or wanting to hurt his wife is a form of tolerance that Matt can give. The reality is that Matt is a man who explodes easily and points a gun at anyone. So, yelling with his face restrains his emotions because Amanda’s words limit his patience.

Matt was choking, wiping his hair, frustrated. “You doubt me, Amanda? You think I’m going to find a bitch out there because I put my wife’s health first?” Matt asked in a deep voice, full of emphasis, but pitched like a husband nagging his wife.

Amanda shook fast, and her expression seemed regretful. Unfortunately, even though Amanda was carried away, her remarks a few minutes ago could not be recalled.

Matt got out of bed, got up, and then, with two arms crossed, asked Amanda slowly without losing his authority, “Mrs. Wallace, do you know what your fault is?”

“I hurt you with my words. I shouldn’t have. I’m guilty, Matt…” Matt looked at Amanda for more information. However, Matt’s dominant eyes seemed to be giving orders without speaking.

“I-I said about strangers in our marriage when I also hated words coming out of my mouth. My ex-husband cheated on me. I was devastated and had to go to a psychologist. Still, I even suggested something stupid for you to do,” Amanda replied slowly to Matt. “I think I’ve gone far enough, sorry.”

“Go on, tell me what else you’ve done wrong?” asked Matt urgently.

Anyway, Matt wants his wife to learn where she’s wrong. But Amanda bowed her head not to look at Matt.

Matt sighed. The man continued without waiting for Amanda’s answer, “I’m sorry I had to yell at you. Not because you’re talking about another woman. But I don’t want to lose the best thing in my life. It’s you, my wife.” Amanda raised her head back to look at Matt. The woman’s expression was still tangled with a little smile.

“I understand you are emotional. You are not in a good mood to think rationally. But what you just said made me both hurt and worried. You’re asking me to destroy our marriage. Are you in your right mind? Do you underestimate the love and affection I’ve been giving you, Amanda?”

Amanda’s forehead shriveled, panicked, then shook fast. “No-no-no, not Matt. Is that how bad my word is?”

Matt nodded. “Yes. Very, very bad.”

“Are you mad at me?” Amanda asked carefully.

“I’m not mad, just upset. Amanda, I am insensitive about your desire to have a biological child. All I care about is your health condition.” Matt sighs and starts explaining, “Your first mistake. You didn’t really listen to what I said in the first place and made a one-sided conclusion. I like to play with Lio and Lea, but that doesn’t mean I want sons and daughters like them. I don’t want kids.”

Matt’s not in the mood for a fight and now is not the time for a marital discussion. What Matt did this time was guide his wife, confirming that their marriage was on his top priority list.Ccontent © exclusive by Nô/vel(D)ra/ma.Org.

Matt touched Amanda’s cheek gently. “Secondly, I know how devastated you are when you get a verdict from the obstetrician. I can even imagine your pain when you have to have three miscarriages, forced circumstances to undergo curettage. Your inner pain of losing a prospective child, all of that must hurt a lot, right? If I had been there then, I would have left everything to share the burden with you…”

Matt smiled a little. “And you were even more devastated when you learned of your ex-husband’s affair. I understand; I know very well. You’re afraid I’ll become like him. But Amanda…” Matt’s explanation is firm and doesn’t want to be refuted, but his tone is soft to comfort Amanda.

Matt slowly knelt on the edge of the bed, taking Amanda’s hand for him to hold, wanting to make his wife believe, “I’m Matthew Wallace, your husband now. For God’s sake, who has blessed our marriage, I would never hurt a woman who used the name my parents left behind.”

“Matt…” Amanda ran out of words, “Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Because you’re my wife. My current purpose in life. We’re not just sharing names, but we will share everything.” This makes Amanda certain that it is Matt. Amanda’s trying to give Matt full confidence. I hope what Matt says will never deny that man. Amanda wants to trust her husband-Matt’s back, sitting next to Amanda and still stuffing each other’s fingers.

“Lastly, this is most untrue with you saying ‘I can have biological children from other women, which is much better than my wife-are you fucking kidding me…” The grip on Amanda’s hand gets tighter, and the woman winces.

“Children aren’t the determinant of happiness, Amanda. Not guaranteeing whether a marriage will last long with a child or not, many couples are out there who eventually choose to divorce after having children. Angelina Jolie and Brat Pit, for example. What you think is good for me, not necessarily the best version of me, baby.”

“What’s the best version of you, Matt?”

“You.” Matt gently wiped the back of his wife’s hand. You’re the best God ever created, so I married Amanda La Wallace, not anyone else. You deserve to be with me, and I’m lucky to have you perfect for me. Isn’t it right for everyone to have their own partner’s standards?”

“Yes, I know,” Amanda replied, repeatedly made at a loss for words by her husband, who was originally a cold-blooded mafia.

“And all my very high standards are in you, Amanda.” Amanda smiles at Matt’s flirting, trying to ease the tense atmosphere between them.

“It was me who initially felt unworthy of an angel. Isn’t it strange that demons and angels get married?”

“Oh, my God, Matt…” Amanda quickly hit Matt in the chest. The man likes his wife’s shy expression. It’s so cute. “I’m also lucky to have you as my husband, Mr. Wallace. Thank you for being with me…”

Amanda and Matt lock their eyes on each other. The look in Amanda’s eye is the feeling of guilt that’s left for Matt. They are in the process of learning to understand and love each other more.

“Sorry… it has hurt your feelings, sugar.” Now, replace Amanda, who caressed his cheek. “You must be angry and upset with me. I got too carried away because that thought haunts me lately, and it peaked at Dad’s birthday party this afternoon. Okay, let’s just say it’s a mild word, shall we?”

“Not for me, babe,” Matt said the next second.

“Don’t say it for a joke again. The topic of conversation you created scares me a lot, Amanda. Do you know that your husband almost had a heart attack just now?” Matt expressed his concerns. His heart was almost out of place to hear the horror words coming from Amanda’s lips.

“Why is that?” Amanda’s calmer now. “My husband is handsome, a businessman who makes a lot of money, and gentle with his partner. If there were no, there must be a lot of women willing to bear your child.”

“But I don’t want another woman,” Matt stressed. “I’m going to drag those bitches down to the crocodile hole or blow their heads off if I dare to dream of your position. Also… I don’t want kids, Amanda.”

Don’t you ever think Matt’s going to do the extreme thing Amanda’s afraid of-have a child with another woman? That’s not going to happen. Matt will keep the marriage he’s sentenced to once in a lifetime.

“You seriously don’t want kids?”

“I don’t think it’s something that’s on my top list,” Matt said. “Marrying you is a choice due to the struggle and one prayer I offer. I couldn’t have ruined my fight. But a child is a gift. I wouldn’t force God to give it if the stakes were your salvation, Amanda. No hypocrites. If you’re healthy, I want a child with you. We will bring a whole human into the world, and that task can’t be done just because I want to. If it’s your consequence, then I don’t need it!” Amanda listened to Matt.

“I would be very grateful if you could give birth safely. But what if our child just lost you on the operating table? What should I tell him when I grow up? Matt said with a sigh, “He’s bound to be burdened.” “Then would I be a good father without my wife? What if I turn out to hate him? Who knows.”

“You’re a good man. You’ll be a good father,” Amanda said while shaking, catching Matt’s cheek and kissing his husband’s lips one second.

“Thanks for the compliment, babe. But I’m just nice to you because I love you. It’s hard to pretend to be nice to others with my temper. But you’re different, I’m sincere to you. Have I been a good husband to you?”

Amanda nodded quickly. She was smiling softly. “Of course. But instead of hurting you, I’m selfish.”

Matt raised his hand to wipe Amanda’s hair. “I won’t hide that I’m disappointed when you ask for things I can’t allow and give. I trust you so much; I think you’ll keep this marriage the way I do. Suddenly, your words drove me mad, in vain, and I doubted everything.”

“Sorry…” Amanda said softly.

“Emotions also carried me away. You must have been scared when I screamed. I was hoping you could learn that a marriage without opening up to each other is a fragile pole. We must have equal love and trust to endure.”

“I understand when I say something wrong because you get carried away with your feelings as if you lost something you believed in…” Amanda looked at Matt guilty. “It’s natural you’re angry at me, Matt.”

Matt goes, “Yeah, but I’m still worried you’re scared of me. I’m a bad guy with a hobby of killing people.” Matt chuckled at his line of humor.

“I’m not afraid of you, sugar. We’re husband and wife.” Amanda didn’t like her husband thinking that way to himself. Amanda had accepted Matt from the start despite the man’s rudeness.

Matt slipped Amanda’s hair into her ear, “How can you hug me every night if you’re afraid of me.” “Amanda, your past and your trauma are serious. I should have been more considerate. And you’re not selfish when you’re afraid to get hurt again.”

Amanda was silent for a while, listening to Matt. How could a man who used to be an international playboy class Cassanova love her so much? Was Matt really this perfect in the first place? Matt was very wise. “Aren’t you tired of being so sweet, Matt? Be the girl’s man.”

Amanda’s words are like allusions to him as a fuckboy. “That was a long time ago, baby,” Matt felt like whining.

“Why bring a man everything? I’m done. I’m not naughty anymore.” Amanda turned her eyeball around with a little chuckle. Matt’s whining sounded funny.

“Isn’t that right? I’m just being mean to you?” Matt said. “I’m Amanda’s one man, right?”

“Who told you?” Amanda didn’t want Matt to get big-headed. “If you were a fictional character in a book like Edward Cullen, maybe many women would want a husband like you.”

“Oh, my God, my wife. Amanda, you must know I’m a thousand times better than that fictional character. I’m real, I’m alive, and I’m more sexy than some obscure vampire. Then, I don’t care about many women who want me to be their husband. Because I’m already your husband, Amanda La Wallace.”

“Yes, my sexy husband,” Amanda replied on a whim.

“And please don’t fight like that, babe. If you have any distracting thoughts or are sad, I want to be the first person you tell.” Matt still shows his fear. “I don’t like you getting stressed by yourself.”

“Is it because you love me so much, Matt?” Amanda fished.

“More than that.” Matt looked at Amanda gently. I told you earlier that you’re everything, babe. I may have loved you in the first place, and I realized it, but I didn’t admit it. Instead, I made a two-week deal in Havana. But I’m grateful for that strange deal we’re together now.”

Amanda is still speechless because she heard Matt’s words, but she likes him to express his feelings. And Amanda’s cheeks turned reddish.

Matt pulled his body back out of bed. He was taking a kneeling position in front of Amanda.

“Matt… You don’t have to muzzle again.” Amanda was confused.

While looking at Amanda and carrying Amanda’s two hands into her grasp, Matt expressed his heart to be sure: “I love you. This man loves you, Amanda. I love you so much that it’s dying to part with you. Don’t go anywhere, baby. Stay by my side. Let’s stay together until we get old.”

“Yeah, let’s stay together, Matt.”

“Lastly, please don’t talk about biological children again in the future because I just want to be with you for a long time. Yes?”

“….” Amanda didn’t say anything, just a slow nod.

…