Chapter 42
HAILEY
It was amazing!
I was not exhausted of some sort, but I had barely enough energy left to breathe when he drew me into his arms and never let me go. His sigh of contentment was a relief that there would be no awkward moment after sex-one of the post- sex things I heard and read in books.
I let myself sag into his arms, nuzzling my nose into the crook of his neck before I closed my eyes. We stayed like that for a long while.
Percie lazily trailed his fingers on my back down to my spine while I just placed my hand on his chest, feeling the rises and drops as he breathed.
Things came into my mind was there anything going to change between us? What should I say if he built back his walls? Should I pretend that I did not enjoy my first time or pretend it did not happen? And so on. "What now?" When I couldn't bear the thoughts spinning in my head.
He kissed the top of my head and lifted my chin.
I looked up at him, and he was smiling at me. His hair was all over the place. My face suddenly heated. My eyes grew wide, wondering how I looked post-sex. My hair? Oh my god!
"Most beautiful thing I've ever seen." He kissed my lips. "Your mind is spinning a mile. I can literally hear it."
"I was just thinking how awful I look right now." I bit my lip.
"If you do something like that, we can't get out of here until tomorrow." A sweet smile appeared on his face. "I just told you—"
"What I wanna hear."
"I never lied to you, Lee. I may hide things that I am not ready to talk about it, but I would never lie to you." His eyes were bewildered as he took his time checking me out from head down to my lips to my chest and my exposed breast with a slow smile that stretched from ear to ear.
The way he looked at me made my face flame.
He then traced his fingertip on my tummy and stopped just right below my navel. "I still couldn't believe how lucky I am to be your first. I'm honored, and I would never forget this experience for the rest of my life. I will forever treasure you and this moment, Lee." He kissed me one more time. "Stay. Don't move. You must be sore."
"Where are you going?" I asked urgently.
"Let me just take a towel."
"No." I was quicker on my seat and crawled out of his bed. I was standing naked in front of him, looking down at the aftermath. There was a stain of blood on his sheet. My lips had just gone dry. I wanted to apologize for staining his sheet, but then he came to me and hugged me instead.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you." He wrapped his arms around me, securely and possessively.
"I don't care. It's worth every moment." I snaked my arms around him as well.
"Let me ready the tub so that you can soak yourself."
"You have a tub in your bathroom?" I marveled.
"No. I chose this one, thinking Emma would like your room." I didn't like the sadness in the tone of his voice, but I knew how it felt when you still had plans to do with someone you cared about, and then you came home, they were gone. "I'm sorry."
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"It's alright." He kissed me on my forehead.
I ended up soaking in the tub while he was preparing something in the kitchen. I was sore, especially those muscles between my legs. For the rest, I felt amazing.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I almost didn't recognize myself in my near nineteen years. I looked different after I cut my hair. Right now, I looked unrecognizable with a healthy pink glow on my cheeks, my eyes twinkling. My lips were red, swollen, and fuller.
"Lee?"
"I'm done." I wore my baggy shirt, but this time I didn't put on my PJ bottom.
Percie was waiting at my bedroom door, wearing an admiration look on his face. "It's morning, so I prepare breakfast."
When he looked at me that way, it was my undoing. I wrapped my arms around him and felt him. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't dreaming, that what happened earlier was real. I inhaled his manly scents, and his cologned into my lungs. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"I don't know. For everything."
"It wasn't supposed to happen. That wasn't entirely a part of my plan."
I pulled away quickly, stepped back, and stared at him in disbelief and despair. My eyes watered. "You're regretting it happened?"
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"What?" His eyes widened in shock. I was sure he noticed the painfully obvious brewing in my eyes as he looked at me. "No!"
"Then why are you telling me this?" My voice was hard. My chest heaved.
"Jesus, Lee." He stepped forward to comfort me, but I stepped back every time he did that. "Let me explain first, and please, listen to me."This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.
I was not going to cry. I was stronger than this. I gathered my strength, looked at him, and waited for what he was about to say.
"After seeing you in that position, I nearly lost my balance. Regrets, pain, and loathed to me those were what I felt at that time. I failed to keep you safe. Every second was excruciating. What kind of man I was? What kind of boyfriend I was, Lee?"
"Why are you keep on blaming yourself for my decisions? You can't keep me safe all the time, Percie. If I made bad decisions, it's because I'm still learning. I also want to live the way I want and not the way how you want me to."
"I know, Lee. But you can't blame me if I blame myself. I care about you, and seeing you hurt, breaks my heart. And If I was given a second chance, I would spend every minute I had to be with you and not watching you receiving a punch from that son of a bitch."
"I just want to do something."
He nodded. The sorrow and pain in his eyes were so deep it hurt to look at. "I asked you to come here with me, not to sleep with you. But I always wanted to, and you know that. I just wanted to spend time with you in my arms, to feel you that I did not lose you and that we're still together. That you're safe. Then you're here, looking so fucking hot with your new haircut, so sexy, my stupid brain couldn't process other than I wanted to kiss you and take you to my bed, and you're gorgeous as fuck, I lost my self-control. Well, scratch that, I threw my self-control out of the window. There has never been the right time anyway. The right time is always now, not tomorrow or in the future."
I couldn't contain my smile. "So, it wasn't that awful, huh?"
"Fuck no. It was amazing. Every second of it. Don't ever think like that again." I barely managed to nod. I was in his arms again. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me. You're my rainbow after the rain, as cliche as it may sound, Lee. But that's the truth." He looked at me right into my eyes, deep into my soul. "You've been the piece that I've been missing, Lee. Now that I have you, I feel complete again."