485 The Fight for Her
(Jayden)
Winona lies motionless in the Brennan Wing's family suite medical bedroom, surrounded by machines that hum and beep softly in the background. This room was designed to keep families together during the most terrifying moments of their lives. This wing is my initiative, but I never thought I'd need it personally so much. I'm bending the guidelines a little having Winona here now but I know her best chance is having the ones she loves the most around her. Right now, I'd give anything for a sign-any sign-that she'll wake up.
I don't have that yet but what I am going to do is create a positive environment around Winona. I called Barnaby and he reminded me of many coping mechanisms I'd learned from his sessions.
I'm going to only speak of the future and what's happening now. I'm not mentioning the past. Winona deserves to hear and believe the wonderful future ahead of us. No matter what has happened or what may happen.
Dr. Harris and Dr. Reeves stand at the foot of the bed, reviewing her charts. My heart pounds as I wait for them to say something that gives me hope.
"Her vitals are stable," Dr. Harris says, looking up from the chart. "The induced coma is allowing us to manage the swelling around her head wound and stabilize her blood pressure. Early intervention with the bleeding saved her life, Mr. Brennan." "So, she'll be okay?"
"I have every reason to believe that she will be okay, but I do want to keep her like this for a few more days. However, Jayden, this is still very precarious for the pregnancy."
My eyes drift to Winona's still form, her pale face bruised, her body still. "Is there any way of knowing if the baby is okay?" I ask, my voice barely steady.
Dr. Reeves steps forward. "A Doppler is the least invasive method to check for a heartbeat right now. But I must mention that there are a few reasons we may not detect the heartbeat with a doppler. It doesn't mean the worst, but it might be something to prepare for. Would you like us to proceed?"
I glance at Winona, her hand warm in mine. The thought of losing either of them makes me feel sick. I feel wrong okaying something she isn't privy too. But if there is a heartbeat that is something positive I have to tell her.
I nod. "Do it."
Dr. Reeves moves to the side of the bed, pulling out the portable Doppler from her cart. She glances at me. "Keep in mind, Mr. Brennan, that even though you heard a heartbeat on the ultrasound in Brussels doesn't mean you will now. The baby may have moved, the womb could be tilted, the placenta may have moved..."
"I understand. Go ahead."
She applies the gel to Winona's abdomen, the faint curve of her stomach almost breaking me all over again. I grip the edge of the bed, my pulse racing as she presses the probe against Winona's skin.
The room falls silent except for the faint hum of the machines and the static from the Doppler.
Nothing.
Dr. Reeves adjusts the angle slightly, moving the probe in slow, deliberate circles.
More static. Faint, empty.
My chest tightens, and I fight the urge to demand she try harder. My nails dig into the edge of the bed. "Don't panic, this is common at sixteen weeks gestation," Dr. Reeves says gently. "Let me adjust again."
She moves the probe once more, her brow furrowing.
Still nothing.
The static fades, replaced by silence. She cleans up Winona and places the doppler down. "No luck. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. It doesn't mean the worst as you said. It would've just been good to have that."
"I know but even hearing it today doesn't mean you can't lose the baby still."
I nod.This content belongs to Nô/velDra/ma.Org .
Dr. Harris places a hand on my shoulder. "Mr. Brennan, would you like us to perform an ultrasound? It would give us a clearer picture of what's going on."
I shake my head firmly. "Not without Winona."
Dr. Harris blinks, clearly surprised. "Jayden, the ultrasound could help us "
"No," I say, my voice low but unyielding. "Until she wakes up, we treat her and this baby like they're both alive and well. If the baby is gone, Winona would want to find out herself."
Dr. Reeves nods slowly, her
expression understanding. “That's your choice, Mr. Brennan. We'll continue monitoring her vitals and managing her blood pressure. She's banged up her elbow pretty well too. If anything changes, we'll reassess."
"Thank you, Doctor. For everything."
"Don't forget to eat and rest."
"I will."
I look back at Winona when the medical team leaves. My hands tremble as I reach for hers, holding it tightly.
"You'll wake up. The kids will be here tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere. You rest while you can, we have a lot to do when you get better."
My gaze falls to her stomach. "I already told you my favorite name is Leo. But you might have other ideas. You might have some I like better. I mean Leo would make a cool middle name too."
I wipe at my face roughly, forcing
myself to keep it together. "You're
going to wake up, and we're going to
start over. No more fighting, no more doubts. Just us, Winona. Just us and the life we've fought so hard for. I can't wait."
I'm trying to think of things to say, just keep it normal like we're on a call.
"I talked to Barnaby. He pretty much told me to get my head back out of my ass." Net a chuckle flow out. "You know Barnaby... and he's right, of course. I'm only looking to our future. The past can go eat a bag of dicks."
I know that would make her laugh.
"I love you," I say, my voice steady now. This feels better. This feels right.
I feel my phone buzz in my pocket.
Shit, probably a million messages from Cass and Lisa.
"Oh, Cass is calling. I'll take it. She can say hello. She was the reason we got to you so fast."