Forbidden Heat R18

**A few months later**

It’s honestly been almost six months since I’ve been trying to conceive and have been off the pill. Unlike the first time when I got off the pill to try this, this time was proving to be much harder. When I decided that I wanted to have Reiner’s child and secretly got off the pill, I became pregnant a few months after.

I didn’t know what was wrong with me this time. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t with child yet. As time went by, I became more and more frustrated and stressed out about it. Ultimately, I lost count of the times I’ve peed on the pregnancy test stick just to get a negative result.

The pressure was overwhelming, and it got worst as time went by. Of course, I knew that some people waited years before they were able to conceive and it’s only been around six months for me, but still, I was out of my mind stressed about it. I wasn’t sure whether I was pressured because of my own desire to have a baby or because I was afraid that Edward would be disappointed and impatient with the wait.

Looking back, it was probably all in my head because Edward never mentioned or showed any signs that he was in a real rush about it. The disappointment from the negative pregnancy results dampened my spirits more than anything.

I got so desperate that I would force Edward to have sex with me on my ovulation days. Needless to say, he hated it. More accurately, he didn’t hate the sex, but he hated the attitude and approach that I was taking to achieve my results.

“I’m sorry about this, Edward…but it’s the day today…” I said to Edward the moment he stepped through the door of the mansion.

It was late at night when Edward came home after a very long and stressful day at work. Yes, I had Dan inform me of how his day went because I knew that it would impact his performance and therefore, the odds of me conceiving. I was desperate enough to involve even Dan into my reproductive planning.

Edward looked at me with a look of disbelief as he closed the door behind him. He sighed loudly as he looked at me with blank eyes. I could see that his mind was off elsewhere and perhaps not fully functioning because of stress and overwork but hopefully his body is still…virile?

“I’m tired…” was all that Edward said before walking past me.

Did he just turn me down even when I just told him that today’s my ovulation day? You know, it only comes once in a month…so if we miss it…then…

“Edward, please wait…” I said, turning around to grab hold of his arm to stop him from escaping from me.Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.

“It’s late. Why are you still up? Let’s go to bed…” Edward said, and I could tell that he was trying to be patient with me.

“I know…but…it’s supposed to be ovulation day today so…” I mumbled as I pleaded to him with my eyes.

“I have to say that I did not expect my wife to be asking for sex right when I walked in the door…” Edward said teasingly as he put an arm around my waist.

With Edward’s arm around my back ushering me forward, we started heading to our room. I couldn’t understand how Edward could be so carefree about this. This was the day that my chances of getting pregnant was highest in this entire month. If we miss this then, I’ll surely be greeted with multiple negative pregnancy test results.

I wasn’t a big fan of seducing Edward. For one, it wasn’t an easy task, and I was not used to it. However, glancing at him preparing for bed, I felt like I was beginning to run out of time and options. To be honest, I was too stressed to be in the mood myself, but we have to do what we have to do…

I turned around to face the bed as my mind contemplated my next move. Edward was laying on the bed as he looked at his phone screen leisurely. This is all for the sake of our future baby, I thought to myself as I gathered some courage.

Wasting anymore time isn’t going to help my case and with that in mind, I got onto the bed and crawled towards Edward. By the time that he lifted his eyes from his phone screen, I was already straddling his hips and hovering above him. He gave me a confused look as if to ask what the hell I was doing.

“Edward…we must have sex now,” I stated firmly.

Edward’s eyes narrowed in annoyance. Then he threw his phone aside onto the bed before he covered his eyes with the back of his hands. I could tell that he wasn’t going to be very cooperate today.

“You’re still going on about that? We’re not having sex today…” Edward said, his hand still shielding his eyes away from me.

“Can’t you hear me. It’s ovulation day today! If we want to make a baby, we have to do it today!” I screamed at him, unintentionally.

By the time I realized my mistake, it was already too late. I just screamed at Edward. I just took my own frustration on him. This is the worse…

“Natalia…” Edward called my name as he looked directly at me. His voice sounded so calm and that made me feel even guiltier.

“…I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Edward,” I said before shifting my weight to climb off him.

“I don’t think you should be too stressed about the baby…” Edward whispered to me softly and calmly as if he was trying to comfort me.

However, that wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I didn’t want him to tell me that it was fine if I couldn’t conceive because it’s not fine. I want to have Edward’s child. I felt like I was going to burst out into tears. For a moment, I felt like the world was really against me and even Edward wasn’t being supportive.

There were no words that I could think of that would make him understand my pain and disappointment of not being able to conceive. We’ve tried endlessly for months with no results. I was at my wit’s end and I don’t know how many times I’ve come so close to giving up. However, in the end, my yearning for the birth of our child always won out and I found myself going at it again…and again…

–To be continued…