Chapter 36
I thought I was wiped out. Numb and stripped of everything, I just waited for instruction and was glad when it came. But Silas’s words whip through the static in my head, and my eerie calm dissipates. I can feel again. I can think.
And the first thing I feel is startled triumph. I feel genuinely giddy, because a part of me wanted Silas tonight, and I had to talk it down to not be disappointed. Because he’s gay. Obviously, he doesn’t fuck girls. That he wants me despite that…it means something. It’s huge.
Despite the giddy feeling, the first thing I think is that he’s fucking with me. For a moment, I cringe with embarrassment, a crazy suspicion fleeting through my mind. What if Silas can read my thoughts? He has this uncanny ability to recognize what I need. Did he see it, too? That I want him?
Is he going to turn it into something twisted and cruel to make me suffer?
I don’t care, I think as I reach up, my hands shaking. As long as I get to be with him like this, I don’t care what happens later.
He stands perfectly still as I undo his belt, his chest rising and falling fast. His eyes are on me, glittering shards of glass, and his expression betrays nothing. Behind me, Jack groans, but he doesn’t say anything. I’m glad. I don’t want him to interrupt this.
As I ease Silas’s hard cock out of his pants, I wonder if he’s pierced, too. But no. He’s uncut and unadorned, completely bare and so deliciously heavy in my hand. I squeeze him lightly and hesitate, looking up at his face.
His lips are parted, face sharp, nostrils flaring with every quick breath. Finally, it registers fully. He’s hard for me. He actually wants my mouth on him. And that’s all I need.
I lean in, kissing the head of his cock until my lips are sticky with precum. He stiffens, letting out a ragged breath, his fists clenching at his sides. I look up, lick my lips staring right into his eyes, and smile. And then, I kiss him again.
“Fuck, princess.”
I don’t turn to look at Jack, but the tone of his voice makes me think he’s aroused again. And it’s so crazy after everything we’ve done, but I am, too.
I drop my head lower, lifting Silas’s cock gently up, and lick from his ball sack up his shaft, all the way to the leaking tip. His hips buck, a sharp movement he arrests before he smacks my face, and I hum, doing it again, deliberately slowly.
He wanted me to worship him, didn’t he? Not get him off. So I tease him, curious what he’ll do. Can I even get him to lose control? I’d love that but I’m doubtful. Silas is like a fortress. Nothing gets in.
Well, almost nothing.
I move up and tongue the small slit, gently pushing the tip inside. His hips jerk like he wants to stuff his cock in my mouth, and I draw back a bit until he’s still. I do it again, just lapping at the slit as if trying to get to something delicious inside.
I get more precum for my troubles, which I greedily lick off. When Silas shifts, his fast breaths ruffling the hair on the top of my head, I make my way down his shaft, peppering it with kisses.
“Didn’t know you could be so coy, little bird,” Caden says. He sounds gritty, like he really wants to fuck me, too.
“You’re so fucking patient, man,” Jack says, sounding a bit breathless.
And this is it. The climax of this night for me. All three of them panting after me like dogs chasing a bitch in heat.
I moan and gently suck one ball into my mouth, stroking it with my tongue. Then the other. Silas is tense and completely quiet, but his strong thighs shake with little tremors. As I move up his shaft to lick up the precum trickling down, his cock twitches against my mouth. I glance up, noticing the persistent tick in Silas’s temple as he stares at me with dark, threatening eyes.
I make as if to take him in my mouth, and he releases a shuddering breath. I back up at the last moment, blowing lightly at the wet head of his cock, and return to kissing his shaft. He makes a low, blood-chilling sound that makes unease crawl up my spine, and I tense, waiting.
“You had your fucking fun. My turn.”
So still before, he jumps into action. His hands twist in my hair, pulling me roughly off his cock. I look up, a pulse of fear beating in my chest, and flinch when I see the snarl on his face. His teeth are bared, eyes intense, and he looks like he’s about to kill me.
“That’s right, angel. Eyes on me.”
He pulls my head closer, pressing his dick against my lips, and I open on instinct. Silas shoves my head all the way to him until he’s deep in my throat. My eyes water, and he rolls his jaw, just looking at me until I gag violently.
He pushes me back by the hair, and I can barely draw a gasping breath when he thrusts hard again, cutting off my air. He pounds in my mouth without breaks, without mercy, until tears run down my face as I gag continuously, slowly suffocating. Every thrust slams hard into my throat, making me hurt until it feels like he’ll fuck right through me. When he’s done, there will be a fucking hole in the back of my head.
Silas pushes me away, and I crumple on the floor, wheezing and coughing, my throat on fire.
“Had enough?” he snarls, voice vicious but shaky.
I did. I fucking did. But he is dead because of me, and fuck, I deserve it. I deserve it all.
I shake my head, gulping deep breaths now that I don’t feel like puking anymore.
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He gives me no time to compose myself. As soon as I give my answer, he presses his shoe into my lower back, making me roll onto my stomach. I don’t even have time to regret letting him do more, because he’s on top of me, hot breath panting down my neck, hard body pinning me down.
“Why you, angel?” he asks, hoarse voice tickling my ear. “Why does it have to be you?”
I don’t know what he means, and it doesn’t matter. Because Silas positions his cock against my asshole and pushes in. I whine when the head penetrates, my sore ass stinging badly. But when he grunts with satisfaction, body pressing harder into me, I can’t help but be thrilled.
He feels so good on top of me. That lean, heavy body fueled by pent-up rage is deliriously sexy, and I moan when he thrusts with a low growl, his hips sliding against my buttocks. His skin is hot and sweaty, and he smells so male, all coiled power and arousal.
“Fuck, Harlow,” he grunts, that voice so rough over the lurid slaps of his body against mine. “You still have their cum inside you. So fucking hot.”
He presses his temple to mine for a brief moment, stilling deep inside me, and my breath catches. But the tender moment is over in a blink, and Silas raises himself to his knees, tugging my hips up for better access, and pounds into me.
I hold on. There’s no way I’ll come from this, and I don’t want to. I just want to give him what he wants. Atone, repent, and pay, and then do it all over again. And yet, my clit buzzes with hot need, and my ass squeezes around him with pleasure, because while it hurts, it also feels too fucking good.
I’m ruined. So fucking destroyed.
“You’ll get mine, too,” he says, his head dropping to my shoulder as he leans back to me. His thrusts speed up, and I howl, his cock deep inside me sending jolts of pure fire up my spine. And then he thrusts so deep, I can’t breathe, and jerks violently, his hips stuttering against me.
“Fuck. Holy shit. Fuck!”
His voice is strained, and he breathes hard, his cock still twitching inside me when he drops a hot kiss on my temple. I moan in response, the tiny gesture of tenderness among the cruelty flooding my heart with sparks. I don’t want this to be over.
I’m in pain. I’m so weak, black dots flash in my vision, and I still want more. And I don’t know how he does this, but when Silas speaks next, it’s as if he directly addresses the thoughts in my head.
“Well, angel. I guess we can do one more round with all four of us.”
I shake, suddenly hot now with him covering me so completely, with his cock still inside. It’s terrifying, how much I love lying under him.
Terrifying because I don’t think he’ll allow it to happen again. And I desperately want the comfort of him pinning me down like I belong to him completely. Silas snorts quietly, a little sound of amusement, and kisses my temple again.
“And then, little angel, it will finally be time to die.”
It takes me a moment to understand him, and when my brain catches up with my body, I’m already shaking violently. When I shudder, desperately trying to twist, he laughs deeply, his chest vibrating against me. His heavy body holds me down when horror surges in my gut, and I whimper, clawing at the floor as I try to get free. I want to look at his face and reassure myself he’s joking, though something inside me already knows he’s not.
It’s like I knew all along but made myself not see it. A heartbeat later, Silas confirms it.
“Don’t worry,” he says softly, kissing me again. “It will only hurt a moment.”