CHAPTER 84
Bryan’s POV
I can see her face. She is trying to take a hold of my hands but I am too far for her to take a grip of my outstretched arms.
She is smiling down at me, assuring me that all will be well. This is different. She has never smiled this much before.
She is back. Helena is back from the land of the dead. She has finally come back to me because she has forgiven me. She wanted me to learn my lessons the hard way and I have.
Desperate to be in her arms, I find myself lunging forward with full force, and within minutes, I am in her arms, my body relaxed and my breathing heavy.
I can smell my sweat.Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org
I feel happy too. Finally, she is back and I am in her arms. Finally, she has accepted to come back to me and forgive me for all that I have done to cause her pain.
For cheating on her. For fighting her when she was trying to protect me. For not knowing her worth until I lost her.
“Bryan?” She calls softly, making my eyes open slowly, my breathing still heavy and my body weak from too much struggle to be close to her.
She raises my head and I see something else. Someone else.
Celine?
I blink and open my eyes wider. She is standing right in front of me with a concerned expression.
It isn’t Helena. It is Celine. I can’t believe I embraced Celine thinking Helena has come back from the land of the dead.
What happened? Was it another nightmare? Why did it look real? Why was she smiling at me?
“Bryan”, she cups my cheeks when I am not saying anything. “Are you ok?”
Suddenly, she drops her hands, the absence of her touch so obvious. She rushes to the door and goes out while I am still sitting in shock.
I can’t wrap my head around what happened. Why was it a dream when it feels like something happening in reality? I have always dreamt of Helena while she was dying which haunted my dreams but this one is different.
She wasn’t dying. She looked so alive and beautiful. I didn’t see the disappointed look on her face. She was smiling instead as though she was pleased with me.
I hug my arms to myself, a chilly air blowing through my room. This is when I realize what just happened.
I had a nightmare and Celine happened to be in my room and she saw me having a nightmare again and I am still here sitting like a zombie.
Before I can try to get up, the door flings open again and she rushes in with a mug.
Thinking it is coffee, I slide back into the bed with my head resting comfortably on the headboard.
Without a word, she stretches the mug towards me and I take it.
When I move the mug to my lips, I realize it is just chocolate drink and not coffee. I glance up at her in amazement.
How did she know this is what I actually need? How did she know that I love hot chocolate drinks?
This was the same thing she did the other day when I had a nightmare.
“Drink up”, she persuades, her face in a deep frown.
I look down at the brewing drink before taking it to my mouth. I sip it and it burns down my throat, relieving me of every stress inside.
An unconscious sigh escapes my lips as my eyes close in satisfaction.
“Sorry”, she says as I feel her weight sinking into the space beside me. When I open my eyes, she is sitting on the edge of the bed, still watching me worry etched on her face.
I look down at her sleepwear and I notice it isn’t the usual wear she used to wear. This looks like a new sleepwear and it looks fancier.
I take another sip, moaning in delight. Finally, I drink up everything before dropping the mug.
I sink deeper into the bed, wishing I can just go back to sleep and save myself further embarrassment from Celine.
I wonder what she is doing in my room by this time of the night.
“What are you doing here?” I can see that it is just way past midnight and it isn’t time for her to come into my room to get my clothes which I can see on the sofa ready.
“Erhmm…I… couldn’t sleep so I came into the living room so as not to disturb Jason with my tossing when I heard your voice”, she explains and I dart my eyes away from her in embarrassment.
Was I shouting at the top of my voice?
I stare at the clothes on the sofa and the shoes on the cloth, then shift my gaze to Celine who looks nervous and I know instantly that she is lying.
My room is soundproof and my voice can’t be that loud for her to hear from the living room unless, of course, she is close to my door.
Instead of telling her that I know she is lying, I ignore her.
Even though I am a bit embarrassed that she saw me yet again struggling in my sleep, having her around adds to my relief and I think it is because I don’t feel like staying awake all alone.
I wish she can stay here till I fall asleep.
“Bryan?” She calls me and I turn to face her. She puts her two hands together like someone pleading for something. “Please, don’t turn down my advice this time. I know how hard this is on you but you need to let go.”
“Let go?” I frown in confusion. What is she talking about?
“Yes”, she gulps nervously, shifting uncomfortably. “I know about you and the woman in your life. I know everything and I can assure you that she wants you to let go too. It’s high time you moved on. Probably see a therapist to help you out with this nightmare and then…”
“I have done that already”, I interrupt her. I am not surprised that she knows about Helena and my baby. She ought to know. Camilla or mother must have told her about Helena and my baby. I never did.
“I have given therapy a try but it isn’t working or it didn’t work, rather. I’m done”, I say when I realize I am actually confiding in no one but Celine. I lay on my side, turning my back to her.
“You need to try more. I know how hard it can be”, she says softly.
I am not saying anything.
I close my eyes when I find myself drifting off to sleep. When she rises from the bed, I open my eyes.
“The drink will get you back to sleep, sleep tightly”, she utters softly, her voice in a whisper.
Without turning back, I hear the sound of her feet fading away until the door opens and it closes back again.
Silence ensues.
I know she is gone but I wish she will stay till I eventually fall asleep but I can’t ask her to stay.
Everywhere is silent except for the sound of the hard beating of my heart. I drag the comforter to my chin, squeezing my eyes shut and waiting patiently for sleep to finally evade me.