My Fiancée Hates Me

Chapter 87: Selfish [Garett]

[Garett's Perspective]

When I told Arielle about my long-kept secret, I thought about how it could have gone a few ways...

"...Once you know my secret, you will think of me as a disgusting person as well," she said with a

pained expression as she ran away.

I ran after her only to witness an old bookcase fall on top of Arielle. Luckily, there were several students

that came by who came to help lift the heavy bookcase. When other students retrieved Arielle, she was

bleeding from her head and fighting for maintaining her consciousness. As the other students went to

find a doctor or nearby teacher, I stayed by Arielle's side holding her hand.

"Arielle, stay with me. Help is coming," I said as I squeezed her hand.

"...Garett...Garett...I cannot love you," she said in a daze before fainting.

What?

A weak voice so piercingly clear told me that she could not come to love me.

For several years, I carried a deep feeling for this person despite knowing that the person she loved

was someone like the sun. A shadow casted from the sun could never compare, yet I still hoped for a

miracle with this person.

I could not make her love me...

While Arielle was receiving treatment, I had asked her friends Charlotte and Grace to gather Arielle's

favorite books, snacks and tea. I could not bear to leave her side no matter how much pain this person

continues to put me through.

I had someone inform Prince Erik to come by Arielle's hospital room. He came moments later covered

in sweat and with clothes disheveled. He looked anything but his usual Princely self. He looks exactly

like the day I saw him when Arielle was stabbed, all rattled and looking as if his perfect world shattered.

"How is Arielle?" Prince Erik asked.

I feel bitter when he says her name.

"She has bruises all over her body from the bookcase falling on her, but nothing is life threatening

because the books also helped cushion her fall. Only her head..."

Arielle might have damaged her memory...

"Did she hurt her head?" Prince Erik said as he grabbed me by my shoulders. Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.

I pushed him off of me.

"Don't touch me," I said coldly.

"I'm sorry...I know that you do not like me, but can you at least tell me if this is my fault?" Prince Erik

asked.

If anyone, it should be my fault...She got caught into an accident after rejecting me from hearing my

dirty secret.

"...No, it is not your fault," I said.

"Why did you call me here?" Prince Erik asked.

"...I figured that she wanted to see you, Your Highness," I said.

"I pretended to be you earlier and she hates me with a passion. She told me that several times, but I

keep coming back because I love her," Prince Erik said.

"Arielle is a terrible liar...and a selfless self-sacrificial idiot," I said.

"Wow, you are mean. I do not understand why she likes you," Prince Erik said.

"...She doesn't," I said quietly.

"Pardon?"

"Arielle does not carelessly go around telling people that she hates them. If she especially hates

someone, she will never voice it out loud. If she especially told you that she hated you, it was probably

because you did something to hurt yourself and she wanted you to stop doing it," I said.

He covered his face with his hand as if to hide his shocked face.

"That can't be..."

"...She is absurdly kind and considerate. There is no such thing as a hateful bone in her body," I said

firmly. "If you believed her lies, you were just not looking at her closely enough..."

I asked that he go downstairs to get Arielle a bouquet with her favorite peonies.

I figured that she might want to see some fresh flowers when she wakes up, especially if they came

from someone, she loved the most.

I sat by her side and held the tips of her fingers lightly.

"...Hey, I brought the person you want to see the most, so please wake up soon," I said in a quiet voice.

My happiness consisted of wanting to see your smile even if it was not because of me. I do not mind

chastising myself like this if it means that you will wake up soon.

I am used to getting hurt but panic at the moment you do. I never knew that my heart could be so frail

until I met you. If there was a way for me to take all your misfortune and add it to my own, I would do it

in a heartbeat because I love you so much.

A little later, she woke up and changed a little after looking at me.

However, she seemed cold and distant much different from her usual self. I almost thought that I was

looking at a stranger. She had the same face and same voice, but something was different.

"That is a lie! Even if you wear that mask of a skin, you cannot fool me. How dare you pretend to be

him? You are obviously a fake! An imposter!" she screamed at me.

I wonder what made her say such a thing...

Her tone sounded so bitter and sad as if she was drowning in sorrow.

Then, as if she saw the light at the end of the tunnel, she called out his name, "Erik..."

My heart sunk.

It always seems as if I am doomed to lose to this person...

My parents, my teachers, the students, and even the only person I ever loved before chose that person

over me.

I left while he calmed her down. The two were like a perfect painting when next to each other. I just

knew that I had no place beside them...

While I was leaving, that Prince asked me to wait for him because he wanted to explain to me

something.

I waited outside and incidentally overheard their conversation.

I learned that their fates had been intertwined since their first lives, they were happily married, I died

from protecting her, he got stabbed after protecting her, they both returned to the past, and inevitably

met each other and had their fates mingled over and over again.

They had such a heartbreaking romance that transcended against time and fate.

...How could I compete with that?

I waited for a while before Prince Erik finished talking to stop talking and come out. We met outside in

the hospital square.

"...You must have heard everything," he began.

"...Yeah, you two are from an alternate future from where you two are married," I said.

"She does not have any memories of the current you. The last memory she has of you is when you

died at the hands of The Balik Empire," he said.

"...That explains why she called me an imposter. She could not believe that I was alive," I said.

"I have a request to make of you...Don't make her remember you in this life," he said.

"Why?"

"You ruined her with your death. She does not clearly remember the events after your death, but I

remember everything. You ruined her and caused her to become a lonely tyrant. She was miserable

every day since you died and filled the emptiness in her by dragging everyone down with her," he said.

"I ruined her...What a terrible lie. I do not want to sit here and listen to your nonsense anymore," I said

as I got up to leave.

"She killed herself!"

Arielle did what...killed herself?

"What?"

"After I got stabbed, I was on the verge of death. She could not forgive herself for having let the both of

us die because of her. She only remembers vaguely about the events surrounding your death because

it was so traumatizing to her. However, in those last moments of her life, she remembered you and

called out your name! Do you really want to go back to her and force her to relive those memories

again? It was already bad enough when she was coming to terms with my death, so don't go back to

her. Don't make her relive those painful days again," he pleaded.

When she said that she could not come to love me...was it all because she thinks that she let me die

before?

"I have seen her cry because of you so many times. What makes you think you are more qualified to

stay by her side?" I asked.

"...The other you chose me to protect her before you died," he said.

"You still let her die in the end!"

"It was an accident that I was killed in. Now that all of the circumstances leading up to my accidental

death has been avoided, I can protect her with all of my might," he said.

I do not want to admit that he is the better person or that he is better suited to be by her side.

"All of you people are terribly selfish..."

Every single person here is terribly selfish...including me.

Why did I think that I was fine with her being happy with someone else when I am writhing with

jealousy?

What is even worse is that very person I am jealous of told me that I was a plague to Arielle in the

future.

I stood my distance, never asked for anything and am suddenly told to never even look her way. All I

ever wanted was to continue looking at her smiling, but I am not even allowed to do that anymore.

Not everyone can be as self-sacrificial or as saintly as Arielle...