[49]
I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling the breeze on my face. The night was beautiful, and I could see the star-studded sky with a perfect moon. I remembered that it had been a while since I stood on the balcony like this. My busy schedule made me feel like my bones were about to fall apart one by one.
But I liked it. I loved my new activities that demanded so much attention. From the moment I woke up until I went to bed at night, that is if Cedric didn’t act all cuddly and ask for more intimate moments.
“Joice, it’s quite cold out here. You might get sick later.”
I turned and found Cedric, my husband, walking towards me. He then wrapped a thick shawl around me and fixed my messy hair. Oh, did I forget to mention? This was another one of his hobbies; fixing my hair.
“Daydreaming again, huh?”
I smirked. “You think you know everything.”
“It’s usually like that. Daydreaming.”
I playfully pinched his flat stomach, and Cedric winced. “Hey, I’m serious about talking about our honeymoon. Where do you want to go?”
When he mentioned the word “honeymoon,” I was reminded of the failed vacation. Baby got sick, and there was no intention to go to the airport just to unwind from the busyness. For me, Baby is the top priority. Cedric was fine with it too; he even apologized.
When, oh when, does Cedric not make my heart and days colorful?
Sometimes I think I’m so grateful to be loved by him. And I feel that the highest appreciation I can give is to walk beside him, to be in balance with him, not forgetting my respect for the man who is now my husband and role model.
Yes, a role model.
His patience and acceptance of me, just the way I am, make me depend on him. Not in an overly reliant way or anything like that. Just enough to make him never stop praising me. Sometimes Cedric can be that silly. It’s like he won a huge tender, just like when Krystal was working on a big project right now.
“I’m confused when asked where I want to go for our honeymoon.”
Cedric pouted in response. “You’re always busy with Krystal’s work trips.”
I laughed. That’s true. Every time Krystal had business trips out of town or even overseas, I went with her. Baby too. Cedric? He followed if he could. If not, he dealt with his projects in Washington DC. I didn’t really understand much about Cedric’s café business. Even when it came to financial matters, I knew there was Mr. Daska overseeing everything. I just kept an eye on things.
“So?” he asked again, hugging me from behind and resting part of his head on my shoulder. Slowly but surely, I was pretty sure Cedric was teasing me with the tip of his tongue. Such a habit! He couldn’t see his wife being idle even for a moment!
“How about camping by the edge of the forest?”
Cedric turned me around in one swift motion. He looked at me in disbelief. “Seriously?”
I nodded confidently. He tried to tease me earlier, right? Now it was my turn! I fed his dirty imagination about my body with a soft whisper.
“Have you ever tried honeymooning in a tent? It’s dimly lit, with the sound of crickets. The air is cold from the mountains.”
I heard him let out a soft growl. “You’re so good at teasing, huh?”
This time, my laughter burst out. Take that! “I’m not teasing, Cedric, darling. This is what I want.” With the tip of my fingers, I traced his strong jawline, making him groan again while closing his eyes. “Don’t you want to?”
“As long as I do it with you, I want to. You offered it, after all.”
No more beating around the bush or sweetness; I pinched his stomach. This time, harder than before, causing him to cry out in pain. Cedric was really annoying when it came to teasing me, always reminding me that everything I offered was apparently not enjoyed by him.
“Cedric, what perfume are you wearing?”
He furrowed his brow, looking at me with confusion. Probably because I never complained before and now I was protesting like this. Well, yes! I really hated the scent! It wasn’t the usual one he wore! Cedric’s signature scent, the one that made me want to be constantly close to him, even though I was the one who threw myself into his arms more often.
“The usual perfume, why?”
I glared at him in frustration. I didn’t want to admit that I changed the perfume. “No. This is different, not like the usual one.”
“It’s the same, Joice. I haven’t changed my perfume.”
I shoved Cedric’s body roughly. I didn’t like the smell! Seriously. “Change your clothes, Cedric. Go take another shower!”
“I just showered.”
“Yeah! But the perfume makes me sick. I won’t sleep with you if it smells like this.”
“But I haven’t changed the perfume, my love.”
“Whatever! If you don’t shower, you won’t sleep with me! Go sleep on the sofa!”
Cedric looked at me with a sorrowful gaze. I ignored him, choosing to go to sleep immediately while looking for something I needed to calm my upset stomach. I remembered keeping a small bottle of baby oil in the nightstand drawer. It belonged to Baby. I thought I needed a scent that was somewhat soothing. Once I found it, I sniffed it gently. Quite useful. Meanwhile, my husband walked reluctantly to the bathroom, giving me a chance to rummage through his dresser. I searched for the perfume he said he was wearing as usual. He must be lying!
When I found it, there were two bottles of Cedric’s perfume, and both of them were the same. I sniffed it a little, and my stomach churned even more, unable to take it. I half-ran to the bathroom to catch up with Cedric.
“What’s wrong, Joice?”
“THE SMELL!”
****
This morning, I cooked. Usually, I rarely touched the kitchen on workdays. Except when preparing Cedric’s simple breakfast; a cup of coffee filled with love, two slices of buttered bread with love, and a sweet kiss on the corner of his lips to energize him for work. Sounds excessive, right? Oh well, I do it for my husband, not someone else.
I don’t know why, but when I woke up today, I really wanted carbonara spaghetti. Complete with shrimp and fish balls. And the thick creamy sauce with lots of cheese. I made it myself without letting Yohana help. Her task was to take care of Baby.
And not long after, my husband came downstairs, already wearing a complete shirt. This time, I prepared his outfit. When we prayed together for the morning, I told him that from now on, I would be the one preparing his clothes. It was not something I usually did. This was my way of making sure Cedric didn’t spray perfume again.
Last night, it took two hours for the scent to disappear from my sense of smell. The bottle successfully became a resident of the trash, as I couldn’t resist my urge. I told Cedric that tomorrow, after work, I would stop by his favorite store and look for a new perfume. He said it wasn’t necessary, but I didn’t care to listen to him.
He wore a long-sleeved brown shirt, paired with matching darker trousers. Don’t forget the cufflinks, blazer, and tie. Everything was complete. As a replacement for the perfume, I sprayed my vanilla-scented perfume instead.
“Joice, are you serious I wearing this perfume?” he said, now standing next to me. His lips frowned, and his face looked displeased. “I have a meeting later.”
“Oh, so you’d rather wear a perfume I don’t like than wear my perfume?”
He remained silent.
“If you really want to wear that perfume again, fine, go ahead! Find it in the trash! Don’t come near me!”
I’m sure Yohana, who had been helping me set the table, was looking at me strangely. I’m not usually this angry and nonsensical in the morning. Especially not at Cedric.
“Okay, no problem,” she said, casually running her hand through my hair and giving a quick peck near my temple. “What should I make for breakfast?”
My smile suddenly appeared. My anger dissipated quickly just because Cedric obeyed everything I wanted. It’s simple, isn’t it? Happiness, I mean.
“Spaghetti carbonara. You just sit there, and I’ll prepare it.”
Now, the frown was gone. I also enjoyed the aroma in the kitchen. The scent of cooking mixed with the sweet perfume we wore, creating a perfect ambiance that motivated me to prepare breakfast sweetly.
After I finished cooking and served the meal to Cedric, we sat down to eat calmly. Cedric no longer felt forced, and he was busy with his phone because I knew he had an important meeting today.
As I took a bite of my cooking, suddenly, I felt extremely nauseous. This time, it was worse than last night. It made Cedric and Yohana panic as I couldn’t even get up from the seat near the toilet. I vomited the remains of my empty stomach and felt incredibly weak.
“We’re going to the doctor, Joice.”
I faintly heard Cedric’s voice, which never left my side. Then everything went dark.
***
I didn’t know how long I had been asleep. What I knew was that when I opened my eyes, I saw the IV tube still attached to my hand. What happened to me? Suddenly, my thoughts went to Baby!
How is my child? Zain! Yes, Zain, how is my child!
“Don’t move too much yet, Joice.”
I finally became aware of who was beside me. My mind was fully focused on Zain, so I didn’t pay much attention to the other person sitting there, holding my hand. His eyes were filled with great concern. When we locked eyes, I could feel Cedric heaving a sigh of relief.
I knew why he was so worried. With my hand free from the IV, I gently stroked his cheek.
“You made me lose a 100-hundred-dollar tender.”
I turned the gentle stroke into a slap! Damn Cedric, turns out. Instead of wincing in pain, he laughed. But tears welled up in the corners of his eyes.
“But I got a gift worth more than 10 billion, Joice. I have never regretted this. You can find 10 billion, but when it comes to this matter, I’ll give my world.”
His lips were conditioned, Cedric said, and I weakly kissed the hand that I had just slapped.
“You’re pregnant again, Joice.”
I processed his words slowly.
“The doctor said, based on the ag-”
“CEDRIC!!! I don’t want to get pregnant again, my goodness!!!”
He just grinned!
“Well… but you are pregnant.”
With the little strength I had left, I got up from the bed. I pounded on Cedric, who didn’t seem bothered at all. He laughed even more!
“You’re something else…” I ran out of words and energy. Especially when he casually wrapped me in his warm embrace. I accepted the gentle, loving strokes on my back. And I felt his shoulder trembling softly. Is Cedric crying?
“If you’re shocked like this, imagine how I feel.”
He released the hug for a moment and looked at me with teary eyes.
“You know; my biggest fear has actually come true. You’re pregnant again. The thought of going through childbirth again makes me feel like I want to die, Joice.”
I stayed silent, taking in his words. Then he hugged me, this time tighter than before.
“I’m scared, Joice. Really scared.”
“But you were laughing earlier,” I whispered.
“To push away all the negative thoughts. But my heart was racing.”
“Who’s to blame?” I challenged, smiling. I was going to continue being angry, but I couldn’t do it. My husband seemed so helpless, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
“Well… we’re both to blame. We made a new Baby.”
I sneered. “Sure, put the blame on me.”
“Fine, fine. I’m always wrong for you.”
My smile resurfaced. “Because your wife is always right.”
“Yeah, always right. Until I remember, maybe two or three months ago, asking to be… inside. Then I pro-”
I bit his shoulder as hard as I could.
“OW, Joice!”
“Say that again, and I’ll be angry!”
Finally, he chuckled.
“I’m scared, really scared. But I can’t deny Baby, can I?”
I agreed with that. I touched his cheek again, bringing him closer so that our foreheads touched. “I’m scared too, Cedric. Scared of not waking up again. But I have the same conviction that I can get through this. Right? Besides, I’m not alone. There’s you, Mom, Dad, and Krystal. Let’s not forget my siblings and Baby too.”
I could clearly see Cedric’s tears falling.
“We’ll pray together, so that Baby is healthy and grows well, just like his big brother. I’ll be healthy too.”
Cedric nodded softly.Belonging to NôvelDrama.Org.
“And we’ll be together again because I know I can’t live without all of you.”
“I’ll accompany you during the surgery. I won’t leave you again.”
I nodded softly. “But I’m curious, how many months pregnant did the doctor say I am?”
“The doctor said… around 6 weeks.”
My memory was dragged back to a series of events that led to my second pregnancy. I had already warned myself-aside from being scared and worried about the day of giving birth, I was also thinking about Baby’s young age-so I should have taken precautions.
“You’re the one who asked to do it inside, Joice, in case you forgot.”
Cedric was now playing the psychic, huh?
“You must have done it on purpose, right?”
Cedric pouted now. “You were the one insisting.”
“No.” I argued this time. I had even forgotten about this.
“You don’t remember. You were lost in pleasure.”
“CEDRIC!!!”
Oh God, always protect us. Keep our love whole and ever-burning. Make our future offspring righteous children. I love my family so much, with a love so immense because of Your grace. I am always grateful in my prayers because it is by Your will that I am destined like this. Always protect us. Amen.