Chapter 32: Letting Go
Camille stared at him, feeling another surge of conflict in her heart.
How was it that he always knew the right words to say?
More importantly, how could he say something like that despite his busy lifestyle?
“Is that even possible?” she whispered. “Realistically, you can’t always be there for me, Noah. You have such an important career and a bright future ahead of you. I’m just someone from your past, an ordinary woman who’s not of any use to you whatsoever.”
Michael frowned. “That’s not true.”
‘I haven’t stopped searching for you for years,’ was what he wanted to say.
‘You’re the only one who kept me going even when there had been so many times when I just wanted to give up.’
‘You’re the woman that I-‘
Michael’s thoughts stopped right there.
She was…
The only woman that he had ever loved.
And the only one that he would ever love in the future.
He knew that he should just say this to her. To make her realize the depth of his feelings for her.
But something held him back. Maybe it was that sad look in her eyes. Maybe it was the wary stance that she held, the hesitance in her expression, and the worried tone in her voice.
She seemed to be hiding something from him, but he didn’t know what.
“No, I-” Camille shook her head. “God. What am I even doing right now? This is a mistake.”
Michael’s eyes widened. “Hailey?”
The name had slipped out of his lips before he could even think twice.
Of course, he knew that she was going by a different name now. It had been more than a decade since she started using it. It was her new identity, and it had become a part of her now. It was something that he realized he should respect.
But he didn’t know about this for fourteen years. He had always thought of her as Hailey van Gowen, not Camille Parker.
It was an honest mistake, and he was about to automatically give an apology.
But it made him stop and think for a moment.
What if he was the only one who thought that things could go back to the way they were? That they could make the best of this situation despite living entirely different lives now?
What if he was the only one who was selfishly clinging to the past, wishing that he could still have a piece of it forever?
What if Camille didn’t want any remnants of the past to keep on staying in the present?
‘Have I been approaching this wrongly from the start?’ he wondered to himself.
While Michael was uselessly deliberating in his head, Camille was looking at him with a shocked expression on her face.
It had been her name, but still… it brought back painful memories she wished she could forget.
She stared at him with teary eyes, then looked away as she tried to keep them from falling.
No. She would not cry here.
And definitely not in front of Michael, of all people.
‘What the hell are you doing, Camille Parker?’ she scolded herself.
‘Have you already forgotten your goal? Your resolve?’
When she turned back to Michael, her gaze was ice-cold. All of a sudden, the warm atmosphere between them dissipated, replaced with a slight tension that hovered over them like a dark cloud.
“I know I agreed back at the coffee shop, but after thinking about it deeply, I don’t think I can anymore,” she told him coldly. “It just won’t work, no matter how much you and I wish it would. Things are too different now.”
“Hai-” Michael caught his tongue just in time. “Camille-”
Camille’s features softened, almost resembling sadness. “You still think of me as the Hailey from the past, don’t you?”
Michael had nothing to say to that.
Whether it was because it was true, or that he was still processing her words in his head, it didn’t matter.
Because she needed to end this now, before both of them got even more hurt.
“I’m sorry, Noah,” she said quietly. “I don’t think this will work. The two of us… we used to be good friends in the past, but not anymore. We’ve changed too much. Right now, my focus is on my life and my career, not… friendship.”
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“I’m sorry, but please take this back,” Camille said as she shoved the yellow roses into his chest and turned to walk towards the street.
Michael stood there frozen for a full minute before he called out, “Hailey! Wait…”
“Please don’t contact me anymore. I want a peaceful life away from my past,” Camille said, turning to him with teary eyes. “Please respect my decision, Noah.”
Michael was rendered speechless.
With that, Camille ran through the crosswalk when the pedestrian light turned green. She hailed a cab and quickly told the driver the address.
When she turned her head towards the rearview mirror, she could see Michael still standing there on the sidewalk, staring after the taxi. He was gripping the bouquet of yellow roses in his hand.
Camille forced herself to look away.
It was over now. This was for both of their sakes.
She couldn’t miss something that never existed in the first place. Even if they parted ways from now on, there wouldn’t be any difference. People like them were not meant to be close or to be together.
This was for the best.
***
When Camille got home later that day and was preparing to go to sleep, she encountered Christian in the kitchen, much to her dismay.
“What are you doing here?” she deadpanned.
“What, I can’t even enjoy some snacks at midnight now?” Christian said mockingly as he slipped a piece of grape into his mouth.
Camille’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t lie. You like to order the maids around to have them bring up a tray to your room, so that excuse doesn’t work. You’ve probably been waiting for me to come home, haven’t you?”
“Ah, you know me so well.”
She rolled her eyes and went towards the fridge. She took out the water pitcher and poured the contents into a glass.
Christian leaned back against the counter, watching her cooly. “Did something happen today?” he asked casually.
“Why do you ask, and why do you care?” she snapped.
“Calm down, tiger. I’m just asking. Why so hostile?”
“Maybe because you never initiate small talk unless you’re trying to get something out of me.”
“I see that you don’t trust me anymore.”
“Don’t misunderstand. You’ve never had my trust in the first place.”
“Ouch.”
Camille didn’t even feel the least bit guilty or worried about constantly snapping at Christian. The sadistic bastard didn’t really mind anyway, and it would be fake of her if she pretended to be nice or civil towards him. That wasn’t her personality at all.
And they both knew how deep her animosity ran through.
“Still,” Christian said. “You don’t seem very happy today.”
“Maybe because your presence is sickening.”
He chuckled lightly. “I will pretend that I didn’t hear that.”
Camille gulped down her water, returned the pitcher to the fridge, and then turned around to leave.
“Are you wavering, Camille?” Christian suddenly called out, his voice effectively stopping her in her tracks.
She chose not to turn around. “What are you talking about?” she asked in a steely voice.
“Nothing. You just seem… very rebellious lately,” he answered in a tone that sent chills down her spine.
What was he trying to imply?
The words sounded a little ominous, almost like he was delivering a subtle message.
It was as though he knew something or figured out what she was doing.