Uncontrollable Tempration

I smiled.

“About yesterday,” he started, “I am terribly sorry about what happened. My actions were completely out of line and I shouldn’t have done that to you. Are you able to forgive me? And is there any way we can put it behind us?”

He sounded so apologetic which made me want to forgive him, even though he never offended me in the first place.

“Oh Sean!” I walked towards him, placing my bag on his desk before I wrapped my arms around him. He froze but hugged me back eventually. “There’s nothing to forgive.”

“You’re not upset?”

“Of course not. If anyone should apologize, it’s me. I’m sorry for the way I acted afterwards.”

He hugged me back more tightly this time.

“I’m so relieved.” He said, pulling back. “I also have some news.”

“Me too, but you first.”

“Adam called. He asked of you.” He said.

My heart stopped beating for three seconds before it started to function normally again.

He asked of me??? I thought he had completely forgotten about me?!

I was undeniably happy to hear that Mr Wilson called to ask of me. A part of me also wished that it wasn’t work related. Maybe he just wanted see me, find out if I was okay, or hear my voice…

“What did he say?” I said, sounding more desperate than I intended.

“Well… it was yesterday, right after you left. He needed you to be a coordinator at an event he was attending but since you weren’t available he found a substitute.’

“Oh.” I said flatly.

Firstly, I felt extremely stupid to think he actually called to know about my wellbeing!

Secondly, I was mad because he only called because he needed me to do work, not because he actually cares about me!

I really really really just wanted to scream!!! Why do I still have hope for this man?! Why do I still care so much?!

“Are you okay?” Sean asked.

I nodded my head, unable to hide the sadness written all over my face. I didn’t even try to hide it. All I can think of right now is getting as far away from Mr Wilson as possible after I quit. I don’t even mind moving back to Virginia.

“Sophia, what is going on between you and Adam?” He asked. “You guys never talk these days. And your reaction to what I just told you right now is… strange.”

“Nothing is going on Sean.” I took a deep breath. He looked at me like he didn’t believe me. Even from my tone, I wouldn’t believe myself.

“You said you also have news. What was it?”

“Oh… Um… I- I’ve decided t- to resign.” I got out shakily.

“What?” His eyes grew wide. “You’re leaving? Why?” He held onto me again, as if to not let me go.

“B- because its for the best. I d- don’t feel wanted here anymore and I feel the need to be in a better place.” He looked at me for some seconds, trying to understand before squinting his eyes as if coming to realisation.

“This is about Adam isn’t it?”

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. And that only confirmed the answer for him.

“Do you love him?” He asked.

What?

I was completely shocked by his question! I wasn’t expecting anything like that. Where did he get that from? Is it so obvious? I couldn’t answer because I knew the truth and I was ashamed to say it. At the same time, I couldn’t say I didn’t because I’ll be lying to myself and he would know too. I kept quiet and again, he took my silence as a confirmation.

“I always knew there was something going on with you and him.”

“What are you talking about Sean?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about Sophia. From the way he looks at you, I can tell. He loves you Sophia, and I don’t blame him. You’re very beautiful, and attractive, and you have an amazing personality. I feel amazing when I’m with you and I can be myself around you. I totally understand why Adam is head over heels for you.” He let go of me. “Whatever happened between you two, I’m sure it can be fixed. But please, don’t resign.” He begged.

“I have to. I’ve already made my decision and that’s final. This whole thing with Mr Wilson is crazy and I just want to leave it all behind. I want to start over, with somebody new, someone like YOU.”

“Me?” He shrieked.

“Yes.” I stepped closer to him and put my arms around his neck. “Sean you’re amazing. And I’ld love to try things out with you. You’re better for me than him. I know it.”

“No Sophia. I’m not.” He pulled me hands away from him and gave them back to me before stepping away.

“Why do you say so? Look at the beautiful time we spent together, you were so good to me. You never for once made me feel like I don’t exist.”

“Is that how he makes you feel?”

“Yes!”

He shook his head. “You’re wrong Sophia. Adam really loves you. And its obvious that you love him to. I’m sorry, I don’t want to ruin the picture.”

“You’re not ruining anything because there’s nothing to ruin. Mr Wilson hasn’t even contacted me since the day we got back from Michigan and that was over a month ago. He’s moved on and I have to move on too. I need to leave so he can be comfortable around his office once again. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, he’s avoiding me by not coming to work. He sends everyone emails apart from me.”

“That’s crazy Sophia. Why would he not come to work because of you. If he didn’t want to see you again he would have conveniently fired you.”

“He doesn’t want to fire me because my father’s surgery has me indebted and he knows it!” I moved closer to him again. “Please Sean, I don’t want to keep wasting all my emotions on one person who doesn’t seem to care anymore.”

I looked at him intensely but he still seemed unsure.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. It seemed like his doubts cleared and he kissed me back. He held me closer and inclined his face towards mine. For a long time we kissed, my fingers gripped his hair, pulling him closer but he pulled back. Breathing deeply, he remained astonished by the abundance of what just happened.

“Sophia, we shouldn’t…” The doubts came back.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

“Please Sean. I want this. I want you.”

“I’m not the one for you.”

“I think you’re wrong.” I pulled him to me again and he didn’t hesitate to kiss back. He was so bad at resisting, I laughed in my head.