Chapter 158
Dr. Salazar had Beatris pack up my books and notes. Jonas had clothes, my essentials, and shoes sent over along with my phone and my bag. I can't use them because there's no signal down here, but just holding my phone in my hand makes me feel like I'm closer to getting out of here.
"One last deep dive?" he asks as my things are taken out of the room.
"Sure," I agree sitting on the edge of the bed.
"You once told me that your father taught by example. Do you ever remember a time when you thought, he was right? A time that really stuck with you?"
"Yeah," I nod looking down at my phone. "I think it's my earliest memory. I remember my parents fighting. I don't know why but they likely fought because he took a mission from the King. He left and he was gone for a long time. My mom would come home from work. She'd clean and cook exsessively. As if she were trying to distract us from how long he was gone.
"She was at work and I'd been home alone all morning when my dad walked through the front door of our house. He was covered in mud and blood. He trailed the mud all the way to the kitchen where he sat down and just stared blankly at the cupcakes mom had made. "I wanted to tell him that Mom was going to be so upset when she got home to the mess. he made, but I couldn't. He looked so sad,"
"What did you do?"
"I cleaned up the mud on the floor and I started him a shower. He growled at me when I took his hand and led him to it. He could barely walk. I saw wounds and scrapes. I helped him out of his boots and his jacket before he pushed me toward the door. I finished cleaning up as best as I could.
"When he was done he walked out of the bathroom and stood at the doorway for a while. I was going to go in there to put his clothes in a bag so Mom could wash them because I didn't know how to work the washer. He stopped me. He said I got it and then he patted my head and called me a good girl. It was the first time and the only time he ever praised me that way,"
"What did you learn from that?"
"That maybe he wasn't as indestructible as I believed he was, but that no matter what was put in front of him, he'd get through it. He just needed to know that there would always be someone there to catch him,"
"As dark as that memory is, it's a good one. You have to remember that you are not alone anymore, Perry. You have friends and family who love and care for you. You don't have to do anything on your own anymore. You've been silent for too long. It's time for you to speak up and be heard even if you have to use the voice we've practiced,"
"I'm not sure I'd ever be confident enough to use it," I admit. He grins and pats my hand gently the way he always does.
"I'm sure you'll find the time and place for it, My Queen. It has been an honor serving you and listening to everything you've overcome," he takes my hand and leads me to the mirror in the bathroom.
My once dark hair is white now. It matches my new skin tone and the violet shade in my eyes. Over the last three months, I've been practicing shifting in out, and out of my pelt. With each shift, I lost more and more of the wolf I used to be, but I've come to embrace it. The changes don't bother me anymore. I've come to understand that maybe there was a reason for me to become what I have. Instead of worrying about the things I can't change, I should worry about the things I have to change. The things the King needs my help with and Mackenzie.
"Thank you," I say meeting his gaze in the mirror. "For everything. I know I'm difficult and say a lot of dumb shit to steer the spotlight away from me. It couldn't have been easy on you,"
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16:57 Thu, Nov 28 BB Chapter 158
"You wanted this," he smiles. It's not every day someone takes a good look at themselves and decides that they no longer like what they see. Much less want to do anything about it. This is the only thing I'm worried about," he points at the mirror. "It might not be the person you want to see looking back at you, Perry. Just like that little girl who wanted to be as important as her father has come to pass. You're more now. It's okay to feel low sometimes. It happens to the best of us. Take good care of yourself. We need you. More than you
think,"
"He's here," Beatris says from behind us.
Dr. Salazar excuses himself and I'm left alone to gather myself. A part of me is very excited to see him again. The bigger part knows he's mad at me for stepping away. I still firmly believe that this was the right choice for me. I still feel sick, but my mind is no longer clouded by everything the way it was when I woke up. I feel like I can focus and give more than I would have after what happened with my wolf.
Calling it a vacation is a little bit of an understatement. I'd never taken the time to slow down enough to really see what I'd been trying to cling to my entire life. One mission at a time wasn't right and the more I added to the destruction I raged, the more I wanted to be my father's daughter. I didn't realize that I had surpassed that long before I even met the King.
The Alpha King, the wraith, and Calvin all know and they kept me in this little bubble that served them. I don't answer to any of them anymore. I don't answer to anyone other than my King and I want things to stay that way. I don't owe anyone a single fucking thing, but I do owe him. Everything. Moving forward I want to show him that while I meant he couldn't save me before, I don't need him for that anymore. We don't need to be saved. We've already crossed that bridge together.
The King is standing in front of his spaceship with a phone to his ear. He's arguing with someone. His back is to me and it's kind of always been impressive. I expected a suit. I wanted him in one actually. But he's wearing dark blue jeans and a black jacket with a hoodie underneath it. His hair as usual is slicked back. A smile crosses my face when I see the black leather Docs on his feet.
I stay at the bottom of the stairs to give him time to finish his call. I'm pretty sure it's Roy on the line. He growls when he hangs up and lets out a heavy sigh.
"It's not like you to be this frustrated, My King," I say in Lycarian. His shoulders visibly tense up and he quickly turns around
"It's been a long three months, My Queen," he answers me properly. "You learned Lycarian in three months?" he asks in O English. "What else did you learn in there?"
"I few things you might like," I shrug, tucking my hands behind me to let him set the pace.
We stare at one another for a moment and I see the instant when he snaps and closes the distance between us. With a growl his hand is around my throat and the other is around my waist.
"You're never doing this to me again, Pernicious. Do you understand?"
"Loud and clear," I smile. He doesn't like it. The anger in him blooms in my chest and I can't get enough of it. "Did me?"
you
miss
"Did you?" he leans in breathing me in. I push up on my tiptoes and slide my hands up his chest until they're around him. "You have no fucking idea," I say and press my lips to his.
It catches him off-guard for a moment, but when he sees I'm serious he gives in pulling me closer, deepening our kiss. I'm a little lightheaded when he pulls away enough to let us breathe. "Did it work?" he whispers. "Do feel better?"
"I do," I nod. "How are you feeling?"
"Angry," his upper lip twitches slightly and his pupils widen a bit before he settles down.
"Me too," I agree stepping back to take more of him in.